Vocabulary Choices
When it comes to birth preparation, every mother-to-be may feel more or less comfortable with certain things, even vocabulary! In our society, birth has been very hospitalized, and because of this, we most commonly refer to birth by using medical terms. While some may appreciate these terms, others might prefer different choices of vocabulary.
As women, we can pick and choose how we would like to think about birth in our own minds. I found that creating my own idea/vision of birth- using vocabulary that I was comfortable with- helped me to feel more secure about the idea of birth.
Here are some examples of different vocabulary options, taken directly from Marie F. Mongan's HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method (4th Edition): (I will list the common medicalized term first, and then the HypnoBirthing preferred language.)
Contractions - Uterine surge or waves
Coach - Birth Companion
Catch the Baby - Receive the Baby
Deliver/Delivery - Birth/Birthing
Due Date - Birthing Time/Month
Pain or Contractions - Precious/Sensation Tightening
Water Breaking/Rupturing - Membranes Release
Birth Canal - Birth Path
Pushing - Birth Breathing
Complications - Special Circumstances
Mucous Plug - Uterine Seal
Bloody Show - Birth Show
Transition - Near Completion/Nearly Complete
Effacing/Dilating - Thinning Opening
Fetus - Pre-born/Unborn Baby
Primip/Multip - First-/Second-Time Mom
Perineal Rim Stretches - Perineal Rim Unfolds
Clients/Patients - Parents
Braxton-Hicks - Pre-Labor Warm-ups
Kegels - Pelvic Floor Exercises
Neonate - Newborn
Stalled or Shut-down Labor - Resting Labor
False Labor - Practice Labor
(Citation: Mongan, Marie F. “The Power of the Mind.” Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method: A Natural, Instinctive Approach to Safer, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing, Health Communications, 2015, pp. 94–94.)
I used bold on a few words that I like and want to talk about briefly.
Waves:
While I don't mind thinking of and calling contractions "contractions," I also really like thinking of them as waves. In reality, your uterus is a muscle, and it is contracting just like your other muscles do! It tightens and loosens to do its job. On the other hand, I liked thinking of the contracting sensation as a "wave" because it helped me take my focus off of the tightening feeling and instead let me think of just relaxing myself and letting the wave come over me. It gave me a good visual of how contractions came and went, and described the sensation I felt as they grew and then faded away.
Some women feel that calling a contraction something other than "a contraction" is dishonest. They feel that giving it a different name can be deceiving and make women think that it won't be at all painful or uncomfortable.
In contrast, some women really do experience painless contractions.
For me the word "contraction" was kind of associated with pain just because of the way I heard people talk about them. Thinking of them as a wave-like feeling helped me to disconnect them from the idea of pain. During my own contractions I focused on other sensations, rather than just thinking about the whole thing as "pain." Still, looking back, I wouldn't describe contractions as painful. I'd describe them as an overwhelming, wave-like feeling (like I mentioned in my birth story.)
Birth/Birthing: I like this term because I think it empowers the woman giving birth. The word "deliver" is now used to say that a mother delivered a baby, but originally it was used to describe the doctor doing the delivering. This article from Oxford Dictionaries states, "The original usage, from Middle English, was passive; a woman was delivered of a child." (http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2013/04/childbirth/)
When I hear the word deliver, I think of being delivered from something like being rescued from something. Or I think of it as someone else delivering something to the receiver (like a mailman delivering a letter to me). In the case of birth, the mother is both delivering and receiving the baby! I think it just gives the mom a lot more credit to say she is birthing the baby, or that she is giving birth. I like the focus on what the mom is doing, rather than what is being done to her. "Birthing" makes it very clear that the mother is doing an amazing thing! I think "delivering" is kind of an ambiguous term- is the mother being delivered to the hospital? Or into the doctor's care? Or is the baby being delivered into the world? Or into the daddy's arms? Or is the bill being delivered to the parents' home? :)
Birthing Time/Month: While "due date" makes it seem like there is one perfect day that your baby should be born (completely based on a mathematical equation that has been generalized to try to describe every single mother's pregnancy and birthing time), "birthing time" helps a mother to feel that her pregnancy is normal, even if it goes slightly longer or shorter than other pregnancies. It is a term that is more flexible to fit each mother's unique experience.
Special Circumstances: The word "complications" is bound to instill fear in a mother, making her think that something about her labor is going wrong. Using another term instead can help a mother feel safe and secure, knowing that while her birth experience may be unique, there isn't something wrong with her or her baby. This term can tell you a lot about a care provider. What do they consider "complications," or a reason to intervene? Will your care provider try to intervene and speed up your labor if it is "taking too long"? Would you want that? Would your care provider see your baby's position as a complication if it wasn't a typical position, or would they see it as a unique circumstance and be prepared with different natural options to help labor progress (different positions and techniques to help baby turn) rather than claiming that a c-section is the only option?
Pre-born/Unborn Baby: I like this term as well as "parents" and "newborn" because they make the birth experience more personal. You aren't just a client or two and a fetus or a neonate. You are a family! Parent/Parents and a beautiful baby!
Parents
Pre-Labor Warm-ups: This term reminds you that Braxton hicks aren't pointless! They are your bodies way of warming up and preparing for labor!
Newborn
Resting Labor: LOVE this! Looking back at my birth experience, I am SO glad I chose to birth in a birth center, rather than a hospital. Everyone's labor is unique, but after giving birth to our son, I now know that my labor is spontaneous with spontaneous times of rest between contractions. And the contractions are not consistent (I couldn't just time how far apart they were to know how my labor was progressing). I am almost positive that if I had been in a hospital at the time my body took a rest from labor, I would have been put on pitocin to induce labor. I really did not want that, but I'm sure it would have been recommended to me (and probably required) if I had been laboring in a hospital. Pitocin can make contractions stronger than they would naturally be, and can also affect the baby. Resting labor is exactly what my body did. My body wasn't "failing to progress" or experiencing "shut-down" or "stalled labor." My body knew how it would give birth. I really needed that rest because when my active labor started, it was very fast and intense.
Practice Labor: "False Labor" sounds pointless, but "Practice Labor" can reassure you that your body is really doing something productive in preparation for the birth of your new baby!
You can decide which terms and vocabulary you like! Do you like the medical terms? Or do you prefer to use different terms for some of the vocabulary?
In my pregnancy and birth preparation, I didn't necessarily make a list of words I liked and didn't like, but doing research and learning about different vocabulary helped me to understand different perspectives on birth (for example, the doctor perspective versus the midwife perspective). So while I didn't specifically only use certain vocabulary, I found that I was more comfortable with a typical midwife's perspective on the birth process than I was with a typical doctor's perspective. (Of course there are exceptions with individual midwives and doctors.) Knowing this helped me to choose a midwife at a birth center, rather than a doctor at a hospital, for my birth. I wanted to be somewhere where I knew the care-givers had similar ideas as I did about birth.
I encourage you to get a feel for which terms make you feel more comfortable and empowered, whether the terms are medical, or from a different source, or if you create your own terms for some things! I think making conscious decisions in this way can help us to create our own perspectives on the birth experience, rather than just passively accepting anything society wants us to believe about birth.
As women, we can pick and choose how we would like to think about birth in our own minds. I found that creating my own idea/vision of birth- using vocabulary that I was comfortable with- helped me to feel more secure about the idea of birth.
Here are some examples of different vocabulary options, taken directly from Marie F. Mongan's HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method (4th Edition): (I will list the common medicalized term first, and then the HypnoBirthing preferred language.)
Contractions - Uterine surge or waves
Coach - Birth Companion
Catch the Baby - Receive the Baby
Deliver/Delivery - Birth/Birthing
Due Date - Birthing Time/Month
Pain or Contractions - Precious/Sensation Tightening
Water Breaking/Rupturing - Membranes Release
Birth Canal - Birth Path
Pushing - Birth Breathing
Complications - Special Circumstances
Mucous Plug - Uterine Seal
Bloody Show - Birth Show
Transition - Near Completion/Nearly Complete
Effacing/Dilating - Thinning Opening
Fetus - Pre-born/Unborn Baby
Primip/Multip - First-/Second-Time Mom
Perineal Rim Stretches - Perineal Rim Unfolds
Clients/Patients - Parents
Braxton-Hicks - Pre-Labor Warm-ups
Kegels - Pelvic Floor Exercises
Neonate - Newborn
Stalled or Shut-down Labor - Resting Labor
False Labor - Practice Labor
(Citation: Mongan, Marie F. “The Power of the Mind.” Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method: A Natural, Instinctive Approach to Safer, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing, Health Communications, 2015, pp. 94–94.)
I used bold on a few words that I like and want to talk about briefly.
Waves:
While I don't mind thinking of and calling contractions "contractions," I also really like thinking of them as waves. In reality, your uterus is a muscle, and it is contracting just like your other muscles do! It tightens and loosens to do its job. On the other hand, I liked thinking of the contracting sensation as a "wave" because it helped me take my focus off of the tightening feeling and instead let me think of just relaxing myself and letting the wave come over me. It gave me a good visual of how contractions came and went, and described the sensation I felt as they grew and then faded away.
Some women feel that calling a contraction something other than "a contraction" is dishonest. They feel that giving it a different name can be deceiving and make women think that it won't be at all painful or uncomfortable.
In contrast, some women really do experience painless contractions.
For me the word "contraction" was kind of associated with pain just because of the way I heard people talk about them. Thinking of them as a wave-like feeling helped me to disconnect them from the idea of pain. During my own contractions I focused on other sensations, rather than just thinking about the whole thing as "pain." Still, looking back, I wouldn't describe contractions as painful. I'd describe them as an overwhelming, wave-like feeling (like I mentioned in my birth story.)
Birth/Birthing: I like this term because I think it empowers the woman giving birth. The word "deliver" is now used to say that a mother delivered a baby, but originally it was used to describe the doctor doing the delivering. This article from Oxford Dictionaries states, "The original usage, from Middle English, was passive; a woman was delivered of a child." (http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2013/04/childbirth/)
When I hear the word deliver, I think of being delivered from something like being rescued from something. Or I think of it as someone else delivering something to the receiver (like a mailman delivering a letter to me). In the case of birth, the mother is both delivering and receiving the baby! I think it just gives the mom a lot more credit to say she is birthing the baby, or that she is giving birth. I like the focus on what the mom is doing, rather than what is being done to her. "Birthing" makes it very clear that the mother is doing an amazing thing! I think "delivering" is kind of an ambiguous term- is the mother being delivered to the hospital? Or into the doctor's care? Or is the baby being delivered into the world? Or into the daddy's arms? Or is the bill being delivered to the parents' home? :)
Birthing Time/Month: While "due date" makes it seem like there is one perfect day that your baby should be born (completely based on a mathematical equation that has been generalized to try to describe every single mother's pregnancy and birthing time), "birthing time" helps a mother to feel that her pregnancy is normal, even if it goes slightly longer or shorter than other pregnancies. It is a term that is more flexible to fit each mother's unique experience.
Special Circumstances: The word "complications" is bound to instill fear in a mother, making her think that something about her labor is going wrong. Using another term instead can help a mother feel safe and secure, knowing that while her birth experience may be unique, there isn't something wrong with her or her baby. This term can tell you a lot about a care provider. What do they consider "complications," or a reason to intervene? Will your care provider try to intervene and speed up your labor if it is "taking too long"? Would you want that? Would your care provider see your baby's position as a complication if it wasn't a typical position, or would they see it as a unique circumstance and be prepared with different natural options to help labor progress (different positions and techniques to help baby turn) rather than claiming that a c-section is the only option?
Pre-born/Unborn Baby: I like this term as well as "parents" and "newborn" because they make the birth experience more personal. You aren't just a client or two and a fetus or a neonate. You are a family! Parent/Parents and a beautiful baby!
Parents
Pre-Labor Warm-ups: This term reminds you that Braxton hicks aren't pointless! They are your bodies way of warming up and preparing for labor!
Newborn
Resting Labor: LOVE this! Looking back at my birth experience, I am SO glad I chose to birth in a birth center, rather than a hospital. Everyone's labor is unique, but after giving birth to our son, I now know that my labor is spontaneous with spontaneous times of rest between contractions. And the contractions are not consistent (I couldn't just time how far apart they were to know how my labor was progressing). I am almost positive that if I had been in a hospital at the time my body took a rest from labor, I would have been put on pitocin to induce labor. I really did not want that, but I'm sure it would have been recommended to me (and probably required) if I had been laboring in a hospital. Pitocin can make contractions stronger than they would naturally be, and can also affect the baby. Resting labor is exactly what my body did. My body wasn't "failing to progress" or experiencing "shut-down" or "stalled labor." My body knew how it would give birth. I really needed that rest because when my active labor started, it was very fast and intense.
Practice Labor: "False Labor" sounds pointless, but "Practice Labor" can reassure you that your body is really doing something productive in preparation for the birth of your new baby!
You can decide which terms and vocabulary you like! Do you like the medical terms? Or do you prefer to use different terms for some of the vocabulary?
In my pregnancy and birth preparation, I didn't necessarily make a list of words I liked and didn't like, but doing research and learning about different vocabulary helped me to understand different perspectives on birth (for example, the doctor perspective versus the midwife perspective). So while I didn't specifically only use certain vocabulary, I found that I was more comfortable with a typical midwife's perspective on the birth process than I was with a typical doctor's perspective. (Of course there are exceptions with individual midwives and doctors.) Knowing this helped me to choose a midwife at a birth center, rather than a doctor at a hospital, for my birth. I wanted to be somewhere where I knew the care-givers had similar ideas as I did about birth.
I encourage you to get a feel for which terms make you feel more comfortable and empowered, whether the terms are medical, or from a different source, or if you create your own terms for some things! I think making conscious decisions in this way can help us to create our own perspectives on the birth experience, rather than just passively accepting anything society wants us to believe about birth.
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